GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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