There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
