found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
