What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
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