so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
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I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
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I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
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