I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Randomize