I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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