I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Randomize
