Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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