I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
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