so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Randomize
