someone get that fucking seahorse.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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