so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Randomize
