no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
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