I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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