Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
