she woke up with a sticky ear
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
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