My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize