Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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