The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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