My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Randomize
