I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Having a random hookup so left but love u
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
