I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
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