Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
