READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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