My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
Randomize
