that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Randomize
