Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Randomize
