my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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