it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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