i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize
