READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
