You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
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