I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
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