you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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