why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Randomize
