Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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