I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Randomize
