Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
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I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
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What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
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