I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
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