tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Randomize
