ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Randomize
