I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Randomize
