i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
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his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
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White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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