so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
