oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
