you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Mom said you looked used
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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