As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
