covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Randomize
