I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize