I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Randomize
