when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize