I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
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