people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
